Sunday, July 02, 2006
Clean Paper
I have this fear - a fear of white paper. No this doesn't mean that I run and hide and scream when I see a piece of paper, it's an inner fear I have of the possibilites that this piece of paper holds. I mean that piece of paper has so much potential, the words on that paper can be completly and utterly meaningless or they can have a huge and profound impact. I feel like I can never do the paper justice. I have since found some comfort in this fear. I recently read a quote by Jim Henson, a man that I greatly admire. In one of his journals he wrote, "Beginning is the hardest thing-I bought this book last week, I've wanted to do this for several months but there's something awesome about a totally blank book-and so beautiful-at least at this point it is." My fear has since been calmed - and I now feel encouraged. I'm starting to journal again, something I haven't done in awhile. I'm also starting the scratchings of a story that has been at least 12 years in the making - lots to write just have to be careful how it's done and do it justice. Writing this story scares the crap out of me - I mean, can I, do I have what it takes to emotionally separate myself from the story to do it justice - we shall see.
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